2009 has been an incredibly crazy year. Personally it’s been an awesome 12 months. My wife and I were blessed to have our 3rd child in June. Our 2 older kids Stephen (9) and Megan (7) welcomed their new baby sister Kate with open arms. My mother had heart surgery in August and came through hopefully even stronger than before. My two younger brothers both recently announced that their wives were pregnant with their 3rd child each which is great. And my little sister is doing well and moving up in the professional world. So on the family front which is most important 2009 was amazing.
Professionally 2009 was more mixed but overall great. Our home station 106.7 WJFK, which was one of the heritage FM talk stations in the country and the one I listened to growing up, flipped formats to all sports. This was a real mixed bag for us because we (The Junkies) survived the flip and still get to anchor the station in the mornings but we lost some friends in the building that didn’t make the new format and overall felt a sadness to see the hot guy talk format disappear.
We were lucky enough to have worked at JFK almost 12 years including a period that I think had the greatest talk radio lineup in history. Howard Stern, Opie and Anthony, Don and Mike, The Sports Junkies and Ron and Fez. That style of radio is going the way of the dodo bird though and we are just lucky enough that we can still thrive in the world of sports radio since sports has always been the centerpiece of our show. In fact we are doing extremely well in the ratings since the flip and hope to dominate in the male demographics in the mornings for many more years.
Mediocre Poker Radio has had a pretty strong year too. Bret and I were pleased with our first foray into video content with our “Day with the Dangs” piece that we produced this year. We can’t thank Hac and Di enough for being so cool and letting us all get a peek into their world. Thanks fellas!
We also did some live streaming of some of our interviews this year and had our little viewing party of the final table online on Livestream which was cool. We hope to do a lot more of that this year. But most impressive to me was just the list of the people that we got a chance to interview (and meet in some cases) in 2009. In no particular order: Cole South, Brian Townsend, Brian Hastings, Taylor Caby, Dusty Schmidt, The Dangs, Joe Cada, Brad Booth, Jeff Shulman, Joe Sebok, Steve Sung, Mike Matusow, Phil Helmuth, Andy Block, Colin Moshman, Dani Stern, Howard Lederer and on and on. Not bad for a couple of donks who have to date been paid $0 to do this show. Most of the props go to Bret for booking the vast majority of these guys. Nice work B.
Now where is the downside, you have to be asking? I said it was a crazy year and so far everything has been pretty good. Well as I hint in the title of this blog, 455,787 hands later I am still basically a break even/losing player online. It’s complicated though. I actually booked a small winrate in the NL50 game over 246,00 hands. Having felt like I was playing solid and bored at NL50 I played almost 160,00 hands of NL100 and gave back all my winnings at NL50 and then some. Yes I ran something like 20+ buyin’s below expectation in all in’s (ie I ran like shit). But even if I ran according to expectation in all in’s I still would have finished down 10 buyins or so. Not a lot of money but enough to discourage me over a decent sized sample.
In fact I was so discouraged that I recently tried to shake things up and play some limit poker and see how that would go. (Shocker it went poorly). Limit poker seems to fit my mindset a little better at first glance. One decision won’t ruin a whole session the way it can in NL holdem. I can’t tell you how many times in No Limit I’ve played 2000 hands or so pretty well only to then have a critical pot where I’m pretty deep and make a bad call and donk off 200BB’s. One hand can wipe out your entire day’s worth of solid play. The play is so standard today online that it feels like we are just waiting to cooler each other and hope to be on the right side of the variance. It’s not much fun.
So even though I failed to move up again and wiped out my NL50 winnings losing at NL100 I still had my best year in sheer profit thanks to rakeback, and various promotions. It turns out I’m a professional bonus whore. Thanks to Iron Man medals, rakeback, FTP points and other bonuses on Full Tilt I have worked my online account from $400 to almost $17k over the last 2 years. That is strictly the result of grinding every day all while juggling work and 3 kids. It’s not a terrible result. But it feels hollow. I want to WIN!
Maybe if I could dedicate 8 hours a day or more to poker things would be different but I’m not sure. The most frustrating part of it all is I set these goals for myself in poker and I can’t seem to accomplish them. I want to beat certain levels at a certain clip and keep moving up and I can’t seem to do it. How are people doing it today? What am I missing? I’ve interviewed the best players in the world. I’ve had some coaching. I watch videos and try and review my hands. But nothing changes. The line between winning and losing long term is so fine.
Is anybody else out there experiencing the same problems? Dusty Schmidt aka Leatherass swears if anybody puts the time in they can be a winning poker player. But if 2 to 3 hours a day isn’t enough I’m cooked. Not sure I can do more than that and still have a wife, 3 kids and a career.
Basically I’m at a crossroads in my poker life. I can’t just quit. I’m too damn competitive, I like the challenge and frankly I’m probably addicted to it anyway. I’ve tried Heads Up (way too swingy), SNG’s (pretty frustrating and I suck when I’m on the bubble), Limit (I must have too many leaks), Pot Limit Omaha (may as well just flip coins) and always end back up at full ring no limit. I may try some 6 max again but everybody plays 6 max. I’m guessing if there aren’t that many fish at full ring there are even less at 6 max.
I’ll probably try to get some more coaching in 2010. The thing is I’m so arrogant that I feel like I’ve heard of and studied most of the concepts that are critical to becoming a winning player. I understand position and 3 betting and occasionally 4 betting light etc. I know there isn’t a secret formula. Maybe nobody wins consistently year after year. The biggest names in poker other than Phil Ivey have downswings. Hell even Durrr seems to have lost a boatload online this year. Maybe it’s just the nature of the game. But then just when I say this I remember Matt Bolt and Leatherass both saying they’ve never had a losing month. How????? Damn I suck.
Thankfully because of rake back and everything else I can still make a few bucks playing a game, something which my nerdy video game friends and couch potato buddies probably cant say. Maybe I’ll figure it out. Maybe I won’t. But I’ll keep trying anyway.
Good luck everybody. Be safe over the holidays and have a great 2010.